Waste!

This was written really really long back.. realy emo n fucked up.

cut cut, bruise bruise

get "used", refuse

move on, thats what im meant to do.

in this world its not just me and you.

have no feelings have no fear. its all darkness

the end for me is right here.

rip rip, burn burn

come undone. "U" turn!!

i shall close myself up

hide the sorrow, grow up

heal the pain.

im not insane, not insane.

run run, hide hide

nowhere to go, confide

its not your fault neither is it mine.

it happens by default, intervention devine.

drain a needle into me, wake me

so hopeless, wouldn't you rather kill me?

kiss kiss, bang bang

struk by an infinite boomrang

i could ignore you too

consider concieving a clue

but what about the munchies

i am after all another one of your junkies.

asphyxiated, admire, adore, aspire

set fire to the heart

the pyre awaits in the dark

burry the undying feelings, be brave

stuff it down in the overflowing grave.

The curious incident of the DOVE in the night-time

Welcome to the city of treason,a light shines upon a garden of no apparent reason.
The night is cold and calm. The numbness makes the icicles pierce with ease. A dove, glistening white shines in the darkness. Glowing with its pure intentions. Juxtaposed next to ravens of lure. Incongruous.
It flutters a wing, rises above and falls with grace as the moon shines, pulls out just in time. Paranoia sweeps it's heart,as the privileged heed in awe. The show goes on every night. Until it succumbs to the treachery, it shrieks,it twitches, the grace is lost. No one to see. The pious deception of the ravens thus revealed. They are too busy hon-ing their talons, for there were many a dove in the city. All hope vanquished, such being the vicissitude of it's fate. It seemed the final verdict for the dove. Rest it could not for the desire within it's heart, confused to be vengeance by some.
Got a shining new crown the dove did. A new flock of ravens to please, a new trick would be enough to appease. Only few would see the vestige of the previous night. It feels content ofcourse for a while, although perplexed are it's insides. Alas all are ravens here, mocking truth in their disguise. The only nightingale lies in his memories. The nightingale that he once saw. Wants a raven of a feather, so they could "flock" together, make a nightingale of her, for it to own.
Each night the dove shines. killing it's desires slowly. Unable to harness the greed, now the wrath within, kills a raven too. The privileged stand vivified in the deed of disgust. In stillness lie the victim and the villain. With shame the dove bleeds. Colder 'tis now more than ever. The blood is frozen, an icicle it forms. Would no one see it's pure intention. Not the villain it was the victim. Of it's voraciousness you may say. We wouldn't know that until another day.
"The fragment of time" has now come to a stop. Some night, day would come. The right to bleed be granted to the dove. "The Naive" became it's sobriquet, Although it's feathers now decay, beautifully in the snow it lay. juxtaposed to pretty ravens. Incongruous

The Fragment of Time

So sweet is this fragment of time
where every being seems divine
Yet closer to me than others are thou
let this fragment forever grow
Close our eyes. Lets row, to-and-fro

Lets merge together and create
Nature itself we could intimidate.
The lord would not decide its fate.

Be-rid all your fears
Cut the curtains with blissful shears.

Feel the warmth inside us both
So overwhelming we shall explode
Brightness around us, we take an oath
Into each other we will implode
Live our lives in this fragment of time.

Freedom = More words less meaning.

A state of being. A state of being free to be more specific. Now i would say that ones state of being is set by ones state of mind, and hence that would mean that if one needs to feel free or experience true freedom in its most purest sense one has to have a free state of mind. That would mean that we should be able to think what we want, do what we want, say what we want. To be able to judge people the way we want and then to be able to see past how they judge us. To be able to put your middle finger to the one who is wrong. To be able to justify your actions when you are questioned. To be able to thwart authority. To confront conformity. To be able to blend into the surroundings. To be able to turn off the lights n shut your ears to all the "pollution" being thrown at you by the world. To question how? When? Where? What? Who? To be able to seek truth without limitations and boundaries. To be able to differentiate between right and wrong without prejudice. To be able to inhale darkness and convert it into the entire spectrum and exhale it out to the world. To light up a cigarette whenever, where ever. To take of your clothes and jump into the lake, river pond around you. To not bathe for days. To pick up and eat food fallen on the floor. To go to college without brushing your teeth. To not give a f**k about how ugly, fat, short, dumb you are. To know who you are. To know that you are on your own a greater being than what you think and what others think of you. To be in love with yourself. To be in love....

Jaane tu.. ya jaane na :)

So.. it so happens that you listen to a song.. watch a movie.. or just read some stuff written by someone... n you feel that omg this seems like it has come out of my mind... only better. for me.. songs like.. "coming back to life", "daffodil lament", "wonderwall", "i miss you" etc.. anything written.. well that would be some of the blogs written by a friend NP... n movies.. well this would be one.."jaane tu ya jaane na".

As the movie starts you know whats it gonna be about..well yes if u have the brains... but that does not make it dull in anyway. It revolves around the basic concept of friendship all kinds of friendships... n especially friendship between a boy and a girl... which can never remain just friends untill the end... and their frindship is always plagued by their liking for each other in more that one way. the feeling of friedhip never subsides though... yet the feeling of love overcomes the friendship .. n swallows it whole.. n it strikes without warning... aah well that all is kinda lame. Its a very common phenomenon. Most of us have been through it.. if you haven't you will.
The movie was just brilliant. as in.... the whole issue was dealt with such ease.. along with other issues intertwined and.. mixed with humor. It could have been really intense and send most ppl teary eyed... which was something i was expecting... maybe thats why i liked it so much.
If you are one of those who has been through the whole phase where u actually start liking a very close friend of yours... you will relate to it entirely. Though i could relate to atleast three charactrs in it.

1. Aditi- Yes the chick.. it was amazing how i could relate to her character.. the first time i could relate to a female character of a film... the time when her friend Jay starts too move away from her. Depicted in very real life ways.. as to how he meets less n less.. n how he is there around her.. yet not there. And how she turns up at the movie where he and his girlfirend are gonna come!

2. Jay- The obvious. though only at the time when he realizes too that he is in love with Aditi and the jealousy takes over him... when he cant stand the fact that she has got engaged. When al of a sudden his tone, mood, mental status changes.. n he is filled with anger.

3. Amit(i think) - Aditi's brother. Although he was an extreme case.. i somehow did relate to him. not that part where he talks about how he and his sister are not close anymore. but the genereal outlook. the recluse that he was. the joint resting on his ear... the way he was misunderstood... etc etc... the guys could hold the entire shot by himself. The weir intensity that he had.. as though he knew a lot more than what it seemed.. which he did. i dunno something strange.

Then other aspects.. such as parents not getting along well n just sticking together for the sake of it. Plus crushes that are never fullfilled and you settle for something else.. better or worse. Also a relationship of a brother and a sister. Also how there is always someone with you.. when ur in need. they are all friends.

The End.

This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end

Of our elaborate plans, the end
Of everything that stands, the end
No safety or surprise, the end
I'll never look into your eyes...again

Can you picture what will be
So limitless and free
Desperately in need...of some...stranger's hand
In a...desperate land

Lost in a Roman...wilderness of pain
And all the children are insane
All the children are insane
Waiting for the summer rain, yeah

There's danger on the edge of town
Ride the King's highway, baby
Weird scenes inside the gold mine
Ride the highway west, baby

Ride the snake, ride the snake
To the lake, the ancient lake, baby
The snake is long, seven miles
Ride the snake...he's old, and his skin is cold

The west is the best
The west is the best
Get here, and we'll do the rest

The blue bus is callin' us
The blue bus is callin' us
Driver, where you taken' us

The killer awoke before dawn, he put his boots on
He took a face from the ancient gallery
And he walked on down the hall
He went into the room where his sister lived, and...then he
Paid a visit to his brother, and then he
He walked on down the hall, and
And he came to a door...and he looked inside
Father, yes son, I want to kill you
Mother...I want to...fuck you

C'mon baby, take a chance with us
C'mon baby, take a chance with us
C'mon baby, take a chance with us
And meet me at the back of the blue bus
Doin' a blue rock
On a blue bus
Doin' a blue rock
C'mon, yeah

Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill

This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end

It hurts to set you free
But you'll never follow me
The end of laughter and soft lies
The end of nights we tried to die

This is the end.

Is it really the end. How many times have i felt this way.. how many times have i seen the end..
does it end everytime n start all over again. No i dont think so.. everytime i think that the end is here.. something makes things all right.. n theres a new beginning. i somehow am greatful to a certain people for this, though not trust worthy yet brilliant.

Thinking...........sucks!!!

hmmm
ya i know that would be weird for some... thinking is exercise for the brain.. n stuff... maybe at times.

Right now it seems that even if i dont wish to think.. "forces of nature" are in their best element n force me to think even about the smallest possible expression.

But then as experienced by me in recent times n about a few years ago.. it seems to be a waste if u think to much... especially about stuff which in the end wont matter much n even prolong ur actions to a large extent... this in turn can mate a lot in the end.

Now even this thought itself makes me think about a 10 more things... for example.. should i stop thinking n do what ppl tell me to??
Should i do what i think is best, if ever i can figure that out?
What about the bloody consequences?
After all u think about things coz u need to take an action.. or someone has taken an action.
Every action has a reaction/consequence!!

I hate this feeling.